glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the day after is always just damage control
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
