Define "chronic" masturbator.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
