I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
