Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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