so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
