Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
