Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
