Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize