please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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