the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
