he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
