when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
