I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
