i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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