I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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