i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
