Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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