I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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