Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
