and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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