; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
