Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
