so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
