That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize