I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
