I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize