when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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