Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
