Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
