I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
