if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
