The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
