im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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