I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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