Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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