I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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