it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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