omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
