In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
