No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize