we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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