I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
