D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize