I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize