from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
