How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
