Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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