Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
