Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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