Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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