Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
