omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
