tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
