I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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