im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
