butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
