i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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