I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
