So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
