Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
