Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
